Mr Black

Hello there, and welcome to The Ranch! Ah, Mr. Black. I’ve been expecting you. We can always use more investors for our operation. It’s grown quite a bit since I started with Rex. I’ll just whistle for him…oh, there he is. He was my first attempt, and I’ve kept him. He’s nothing like the newer generations, but he’s a good pet. He’s getting on in years. Oh, what happened to his leg? I ate it. It was delicious. But you can see he gets around just fine on the custom replacement I built for him. All my products have full non-essential parts replacement coverage, for any kind of damage. Even if part of him just looks too tasty to resist. Shall we get started?

As you know from the information package, I have three kinds of human pets: companion, pleasure and meat. Although of course you can use any of them for any purpose…they’re triple purpose, you might say!

The companion pets are our largest line, with the most research into adaptations. I take you to our pet surgical unit, and I can show you some of the modifications.

Yes, I did used to be a surgeon, and all Rex’s modifications were done by me, but I simply don’t have time to do that all myself anymore! I have a surgical staff these days.

Now, the most common problems with a human pet—the can talk, they’re too large, and their lifespan is too great. Who wants a pet that could live to be 100? That, and they take a very long time to reach maturity.

Here at The Ranch, we have come up with solutions to these problems, and we are continually researching new methods. We also do personalized surgeries when requested by a customer—hand or foot modification, tendon snipping, penis altering, neutering…whatever they ask for. Our most exciting recent breakthrough is with spots—we can now make pets with patches of differently coloured skin.

Now, the problems I mentioned. The third, the problem with aging so slowly and living such a long time, can’t really be demonstrated. I developed a hormone that’s given to all my pets at birth. I gave it to Rex here as a pup—he’s about fifteen now, and you can see that his hair is quite grey. Yes, we are making progress toward making this hormone hereditary, so the pets will not need to be injected. No, at this point we don’t offer the option to breed. Well, we don’t have any females! If you’ll follow me, one of our studs is doing his thing right now. No, unfortunately Rex is sterile (an early and completely resolved issue).

Here we are. As you can see, the stud mounts this special contraption…his penis is connected to this pump, and he’s comfortably strapped in. The pump then stimulates him until he ejaculates, and the product is collected. He is then taken back to his pen. The semen is either stored or put immediately into one of our artificial vaginas for development.

Moving along…the second problem I mentioned—size. Most of our customers want something a little smaller, that they can easily handle and even pick up. We developed a drug that inhibits growth, and of course we always choose smaller stock to breed from. Yes, we are also working on making this drug unnecessary, which is one of the projects investors like you would be funding. Of course you’ll get a free sample of each of our products. We’re hoping that by our next generation, G5, we will have those problems fixed in their genetics, and we won’t require pharmaceuticals.

The first problem, speech, is a slightly more complicated one that currently requires surgery, though we are working to make these alterations heritable, as well. Here we are in the pet surgical unit, and you can see a surgical team working on a pet’s larynx. Oh yes, he’s quite sedated, and given all the best post-operative care. It’s all quite humane. Yes, throat surgery is quite delicate. Ah, a little too delicate for you, Mr. Black? We’ll move on, then. The end result is that a pet can no longer speak, only make a limited range of pleasant sounds.

In this next surgical bay is another of The Ranch’s innovations—all non-essential organs are routinely removed—here, the appendix. The tonsils are removed during the vocal surgery we just witnessed. Fewer parts means fewer to break down, eh, Mr. Black?

Ah, and here is our shop, with our complete line of custom supplies for all a human pet’s needs.

Out here we have the pens where our studs are kept, and the facilities for pups and surgical recovery. Yes, there’s the Adoption Centre. We’ll stop there last for you to pick someone out, unless you have any special modifications.

The pleasure pets. Yes, they’re next on our tour. Due to the necessity of keeping them virgins until they’re delivered to the customer, they are kept separate from the companion pets.

Here is our pleasure research centre. Him? Oh, of course, he can’t be sedated for this. He may be a little uncomfortable, I suppose, but he’s quite used to it, as I’ll show you in the stretching ward. He seems to be enjoying it. And he’s quite well fastened, he’s not going anywhere. You seem to be enjoying it as well, if you don’t mind my saying so, Mr. Black.

His penis is extended through a hole in the operating table, connected to a pump similar to the one you saw on the stud. Yes, our pets are trained to become aroused and ejaculate on command. His anus, as you can see, is quite well stretched for this procedure. We don’t usually stretch them quite so much, but we need full access for this. Ah, this is research in sensitivity—they’ve got him fully opened, and they’re stimulating various parts of his rectum with various implements, to make sure he’s fully responsive, what stimulation works best, that sort of thing. We also measure the amount of cum produced, the number of climaxes, heart rate…

Next is our enema salon, which customers are welcome to bring their pets to for a good cleaning. We have groomers on staff, and offer kenneling services as well.

Ah yes, here’s the stretching ward. All of our pets are virgins when shipped (unless otherwise requested), but they do receive some prior stretching—more or less, depending on preference. As you can see, they are strapped down, similar to the one in the pleasure research centre, and well lubricated specula are being used. Yes, they’re fully automated—they open and shut and the press of a button. We are working on making the anuses self-lubricating. That’s another of our G5 goals, but for now it’s still lube, lube, lube! Oh yes, if you’re not pleased with your current pet, or a new generation with more features arrives, you can certainly upgrade!

All our pleasure pets go through the same basic modifications as the companion pets, plus the additional ones you’ve seen.

And now we’ve reached the meat production part of the facility. As you can see, they are kept in large, clean, communal pens, for maximum comfort and minimal stress. These are only modified to age more rapidly and not be able to speak—we don’t change their size. Of course, if a customer requested, we could perform more modifications. We’ve had several sold for meat who ended up pets!

We have four methods of butchering, depending on the customer’s preference. We can use an herbal sedative to knock them out before dispatching them. I find this adds a pleasant flavour to the meat. They can also be herded into our butchering facility and strapped to a machine similar to the one you saw the stud on—they have a penis pump, but also an anal attachment, and a knife to slit their throats as they cum. I quite like this method, too. We also have our live spit roasting, which I’m sure you’ve heard of. The last method, for traditionalists—we simply chain them up by their ankles and slit their throats.

And that’s The Ranch! Questions, comments? No, thank you Mr. Black!